You and I

Beyoncé is one of those rare musicians with such a natural onscreen charisma that you assume she's done more movies than she actually has. Beyond her memorable turn in Dreamgirls as a Diana Ross doppelganger, her filmography has been limited to self-aware portrayals of breathy divas (Austin Powers in Goldmember and The Pink Panther), feisty black women (The Fighting Temptations) and a successful hip-hop artist married to a successful hip-hop artist (playing herself in Fade to Black).

Given the (I'm being nice, here) relatively narrow acting scope that Beyoncé has displayed so far, wouldn't it be nice if she had a star vehicle where she could show off her serious acting chops while at the same time, display her bootilicious booty? If only a movie like that existed . . . .

Voila, Beyoncé! Have we got a movie for you! It's called Obsessed and guess what? It's being produced by you and your uber-controlling father! Now you'll be able to make sure that people think of you as the talented thespian that you've always imagined yourself to be.

Plot? Oh that's right, movies need plots. That's especially important if you're a moderately-trained cinematic artiste. Basically, you play a really hot woman who has a really hot husband (Idris Elba from American Gangster and 28 Weeks Later). In fact, he's so hot, that he catches the eye of a hot woman at his office (Ali Larter from Heroes) who immediately decides that she must have him for her own. It's basically one big hot mess as Larter becomes (get ready for it) Obsessed over Elba and joins the Stalker guild, much to Beyoncé's (hot) dismay.

The film is scheduled for release on February 27, 2009, which is strange because that comes AFTER the Oscars. You'd think Beyoncé would be looking to position this for a run at the much coveted Best Actress trophy. Hrmm. Maybe the distributor, Screen Gems, doesn't have as much faith in this film as Beyoncé and her father does. (Jason Lee/BOP)

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