30 Minutes Or Less

Whether or not the plot of 30 Minutes or Less was drawn from a real-life tragedy is beside the point, because no matter how you look at it, this comedy is a dud. It's not the movie's alleged insensitivity toward a terrible event that should urge people to avoid it; it's the movie itself, which is cursed with lazy writing, obnoxious performers and a meandering narrative that makes it a very long 83 minutes to endure.

One of the essential problems is it assumes the audience wants to listen to inane dialogue that we sometimes say to ourselves or in passing. For instance, how many times has someone said to you, “That's what she said,” even though its context is not a sexual situation? Or have you ever pondered why you have a Netflix account when the DVDs just sit on your coffee table?

These are the kinds of things the characters talk about, and although we've probably all heard or thought about them, it doesn't mean they belong in a screenplay. This is why it's lazy - the writers couldn't come up with anything more inspired so they defaulted to pointless observations in an attempt to speak the target demographics' language, which I suppose is teenage boys.

But if I was a teenage boy again, I would be insulted. Couldn't the writers imagine dialogue that was fresher, more insightful, more ironic and, above all, more funny? And why wouldn't the director put it upon his actors to deliver their lines more convincingly? The whole production just feels half-as*ed.

The plot follows Nick (Jesse Eisenberg), a pizza delivery boy who smokes joints and deliberately runs through red lights and stop signs to ensure he delivers his pizza in under 30 minutes (otherwise it's free). Nick is best friends with Chet, played by the stand-up comedian Aziz Ansari, who, I'm sorry to say, has no business making another movie until he takes some acting lessons. I've seen Ansari perform live and he's much more comfortable and natural on-stage, but on-screen he's transparent, unconvincing and lacking in confidence. I could tell he was trying to act, which pretty much defeats the purpose of acting.

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