UP

The folks behind popular men's rag Maxim built an empire on two guiding principles: first, people enjoy pictures of celebrities holding their hands over their nipples, and second, most guys don't want to take the time to read Esquire or GQ. These assumptions have given birth to an ever-growing media empire, including several monthly publications, heavy web presence, one of the more popular radio stations on Sirius Satellite Radio, and now, a film branch. Maxim currently has three films in production, all set for 2009 releases.

The most high profile of the three is Fired Up, a teen comedy evidently conceived when someone figured that Bring It On and American Pie should probably be one movie instead of two. Two jocks, dreading another year of summer football practice, leave the team in favor of cheerleading camp, finding themselves up to their bulging neck veins in hot young teenagers (played by actresses in their mid-20s, obviously.) Sexual mayhem undoubtedly ensues, one of the jocks falls in love, yada yada yada, end credits.

Heroes star Nicholas D'Agosto and License to Wed's Eric Christian Olsen play the jocks, and Sarah Roemer (Disturbia, The Grudge 2) is the leading lady among the cheerleaders. Patrick Swayze was on board to play a gay cheerleading coach, but his cancer diagnosis forced him to drop out. Will Gluck, who has never directed anything, directs, and Freedom Jones, who has never written anything and may not even be a real person, writes. (Sean Collier/BOP)

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